Why didn't anyone ever tell me my clothes were TOO tight?! I think a lot of them fit me better now than before meaning I have been wearing the wrong size clothes all this time...
Friday, November 11, 2011
Wednesday, November 9, 2011
A sad start to the month
So, this months starting weigh in was a sad sad day. Why? WELL, I was 183 right before the Halloween weekend, but after... almost 187. It is quite possible that my time of the month messed with my weight, but then again it might not have. I don't know. I was just going with that the scale was telling me. I just figured that this is what I get for not going to the gym for almost 2.5 weeks and stuffing my face every weekend. Was I depressed? HELL YES I WAS, but there is no use moping over it, so I decided to take some action.
I decided to put myself on a restricted calorie intake regime for the week. How did I do this? I started the food diary again (yes, the month of October saw the destruction of the journal as well). I made my goal for the first day of 1200 calories. Not so great for the following 8. I think I was between 1500 and 1700 calories, which isn't bad since I can eat way more than that. Sadly though, 1500-1700 is my usual daily caloric intake, so with that said, not much has changed in the eating department.
I also told myself I would go to the gym every day this week. I have only gone 5 times out of 9. More than half, so that is at least a good thing, but again, that is how often I would usually go anyway.
So, basically nothing is really different other than the fact that I am using the journal again and I am watching what I am eating a little more carefully (minus that Reese's peanut butter pumpkin that was a whopping 180 calories. Had I known that before I consumed it, I would have wasted my calories on something else -_-).
Have I seen any change with my minimal effort of just moving a bit more and being a bit more aware of what I am eating? Actually I have. As of today, I am 182.6 pounds. That was all from just sticking to what I was usually doing. Thanksgiving, watch out! I will not fall prey to your delicious, face stuffing goodness...hopefully. I have worked too hard to give these pounds back.
I decided to put myself on a restricted calorie intake regime for the week. How did I do this? I started the food diary again (yes, the month of October saw the destruction of the journal as well). I made my goal for the first day of 1200 calories. Not so great for the following 8. I think I was between 1500 and 1700 calories, which isn't bad since I can eat way more than that. Sadly though, 1500-1700 is my usual daily caloric intake, so with that said, not much has changed in the eating department.
I also told myself I would go to the gym every day this week. I have only gone 5 times out of 9. More than half, so that is at least a good thing, but again, that is how often I would usually go anyway.
So, basically nothing is really different other than the fact that I am using the journal again and I am watching what I am eating a little more carefully (minus that Reese's peanut butter pumpkin that was a whopping 180 calories. Had I known that before I consumed it, I would have wasted my calories on something else -_-).
Have I seen any change with my minimal effort of just moving a bit more and being a bit more aware of what I am eating? Actually I have. As of today, I am 182.6 pounds. That was all from just sticking to what I was usually doing. Thanksgiving, watch out! I will not fall prey to your delicious, face stuffing goodness...hopefully. I have worked too hard to give these pounds back.
Thursday, October 20, 2011
Oh Noes
So, it is about 11 days away until my beginning of the month weigh in and sadly, I am still 184. Haven't lost. Haven't gained. That means I have 11 days to burn 7000 calories or more. Sadly, I am going to a wedding dinner banquet this weekend and then there is another dinner celebration at the end of the month. Not to mention Halloween. Is this month doomed to failure or can I overcome the laziness and eating?
Monday, October 17, 2011
INSANITY
So yesterday, after the Raider's v. Browns game, I was channel surfing and came across this infomercial for this extreme exercising program called INSANITY. What is it? A total body sculpting workout promising to show you results in 60 days (or 2 months) if you are willing to take the challenge.
What is the challenge? It is basically a 6 day a week workout for 45 minutes each session. Sounds normal so far, right? The only difference is that it is 45 minutes of high intense workout. What does it mean? Exercise your hardest for long periods and have short periods of rest. They promise to burn up to 1000 calories per hour, which is mostly everything you consume in one day.
Okay, this sounds FANTASTIC. 45 minutes 6 days a week for 2 months? Sure, I would do that if i can transform. BUT WAIT! Shaun T says this is not for the lazy OR people that make excuses. Damn, guess I am not in this elite group...and I cannot get that shirt that says "I EARNED IT." Damn.
But all joking aside, this program IS good, and good for all of you people that were on it and transformed yourself. And kudos to you people who are willing to put yourself through it. But here are my problems with it:
(1) Excessive sweating on my carpet is gross and can cause bacterial growth (i.e. ring worm on wrestling mats). Excessive sweating on hardwood or concrete is dangerous. Your examples of working out in a puddle of my own sweat screams lawsuit. If I slip and fall, guess who I am blaming.
(2) Why do I want to wear a shirt that says "I EARNED IT" when I should ALREADY KNOW THIS. The commercial makes it seem like these people are full of confidence, but having to flash around the shirt either means you need assurance OR you are being a douche. "I earned it myself right? RIGHT!? Oh, yes, the shirt tells me I did. Thanks shirt. You are always there when I need you."
(3) Once I start less vigorously doing this program or stop, what will happen? My guess is that I will start to revert back to my previous state and then some. Look at the majority of the people that were on the Biggest Loser. They lost a lot of weight in relatively little time and then after, when all the cameras were gone, BAM all the weight and then some returns.
(4) Eating. So, here is the thing. 3500 calories is one pound, so in about 4 days, I can lose a pound. Meaning I can lose about 2 pounds a week or 8 pounds a month. Am I still sticking with my 1500 a day caloric intake? If I am, I think there is some serious problem. Athletes intake a lot more calories because they are burning so much and they need the energy. What about people on this plan? Yes, a food planner is given BUT everyone is different and so is their body, so how accurate is it?
Honestly, I am sure a lot of people on this program are self motivated, like a challenge, and like people on the screen yelling at them and that is why the program works for them. Everyone wants to look fantastic and be attractive and do it fast BUT how much can your body take and for how long. The advertisement said something to the effect that "your body is a machine and it is meant to be worked like this." I don't agree with this at all. If that were the case, slaves should have no problem building pyramids, bridges, railroads, and working in fields. But they had trouble moving cinder blocks, and braking mountains, and working in extreme conditions. Like all machines, they wear down and break. Perhaps working it that hard, that fast is detrimental in the long run. You just cannot see the effects right now.
I am obviously not their target audience. Yes, I hate looking at myself in the morning and yes, like the ugly, fat caterpillar, I would like to transform into a beautiful butterfly. I think slow and steady is good to seriously keep everything in check. No shock to the system and you are slowly easing yourself into a lifestyle change, but that is just me. It's cool if you disagree; I am just stating an opinion. I won't lie, I was tempted to buy this system, but thinking it though, I decided that it just wasn't for someone like me, and no it am not lazy and I don't give up that easily. If I was, I would be 500+ pounds of pure fat with atrophied muscles, and guess what. I would not be ABLE to use your program.
What is the challenge? It is basically a 6 day a week workout for 45 minutes each session. Sounds normal so far, right? The only difference is that it is 45 minutes of high intense workout. What does it mean? Exercise your hardest for long periods and have short periods of rest. They promise to burn up to 1000 calories per hour, which is mostly everything you consume in one day.
Okay, this sounds FANTASTIC. 45 minutes 6 days a week for 2 months? Sure, I would do that if i can transform. BUT WAIT! Shaun T says this is not for the lazy OR people that make excuses. Damn, guess I am not in this elite group...and I cannot get that shirt that says "I EARNED IT." Damn.
But all joking aside, this program IS good, and good for all of you people that were on it and transformed yourself. And kudos to you people who are willing to put yourself through it. But here are my problems with it:
(1) Excessive sweating on my carpet is gross and can cause bacterial growth (i.e. ring worm on wrestling mats). Excessive sweating on hardwood or concrete is dangerous. Your examples of working out in a puddle of my own sweat screams lawsuit. If I slip and fall, guess who I am blaming.
(2) Why do I want to wear a shirt that says "I EARNED IT" when I should ALREADY KNOW THIS. The commercial makes it seem like these people are full of confidence, but having to flash around the shirt either means you need assurance OR you are being a douche. "I earned it myself right? RIGHT!? Oh, yes, the shirt tells me I did. Thanks shirt. You are always there when I need you."
(3) Once I start less vigorously doing this program or stop, what will happen? My guess is that I will start to revert back to my previous state and then some. Look at the majority of the people that were on the Biggest Loser. They lost a lot of weight in relatively little time and then after, when all the cameras were gone, BAM all the weight and then some returns.
(4) Eating. So, here is the thing. 3500 calories is one pound, so in about 4 days, I can lose a pound. Meaning I can lose about 2 pounds a week or 8 pounds a month. Am I still sticking with my 1500 a day caloric intake? If I am, I think there is some serious problem. Athletes intake a lot more calories because they are burning so much and they need the energy. What about people on this plan? Yes, a food planner is given BUT everyone is different and so is their body, so how accurate is it?
Honestly, I am sure a lot of people on this program are self motivated, like a challenge, and like people on the screen yelling at them and that is why the program works for them. Everyone wants to look fantastic and be attractive and do it fast BUT how much can your body take and for how long. The advertisement said something to the effect that "your body is a machine and it is meant to be worked like this." I don't agree with this at all. If that were the case, slaves should have no problem building pyramids, bridges, railroads, and working in fields. But they had trouble moving cinder blocks, and braking mountains, and working in extreme conditions. Like all machines, they wear down and break. Perhaps working it that hard, that fast is detrimental in the long run. You just cannot see the effects right now.
I am obviously not their target audience. Yes, I hate looking at myself in the morning and yes, like the ugly, fat caterpillar, I would like to transform into a beautiful butterfly. I think slow and steady is good to seriously keep everything in check. No shock to the system and you are slowly easing yourself into a lifestyle change, but that is just me. It's cool if you disagree; I am just stating an opinion. I won't lie, I was tempted to buy this system, but thinking it though, I decided that it just wasn't for someone like me, and no it am not lazy and I don't give up that easily. If I was, I would be 500+ pounds of pure fat with atrophied muscles, and guess what. I would not be ABLE to use your program.
Saturday, October 15, 2011
Call me Jabba
I feel so off today. I tried on at least 15 outfits today and nothing seemed to fit right or look the way I thought they did when I had originally purchased them/wore them out. I was also very upset looking at the mirror. I am bloated and sad. I feel like I look like Jabba the Hut. I know I don't, but that is how I feel...like Jabba.
Saturday, October 1, 2011
Beginning of the Month Weigh-in - October
So, I was talking to my friend the other night and he said that his sister has been working out a lot and dropped 40 pounds in 3 months. That is a little over 13 pounds a month; a little over 3 pounds a week; a little under half a pound per day. That is astonishing to me. That means she is creating a HUGE calorie deficit and still has energy to do everything else? AMAZING and kudos to her. For me, I am like the tortoise. Slow and steady winning the race against myself.
So, my ideal goal was to lose 5 pounds a month to reach my goal weight of 137 pounds by June 2012. I already know this is a high goal to set, but it is my target. It will probably have to get adjusted as I move along, but it is okay. As long as there is a decreasing weight trend, I will be happy.
My realistic goal was a loss of 2 pounds a month, which is more feasible with the amount of activity I do to the amount of food I consume.
My very low goal is just not to gain any weight from the month before, which will probably be happening more often than not. I just set this goal because If, by chance there is no change, I can say, "HEY! at least I didn't pick up any weight!" Confidence builder.
The scale plays a role in these goals, obviously. It tells you the truth at times you might not want to hear it or face up to the facts. It bears no ill will toward you, but you hate it anyway. These are times I remind myself not to shoot the messenger. I asked it, "how much do I weigh now?" and it answered.
I would be lying if I said I only weigh myself at the beginning of each month. That is so not the case. I weigh myself at least 3 times a week to see how my progress and this month was full of ups and downs, but I learned something from this past month.
One, NEVER weigh yourself during that time of the month. You are bloated and emotional and that number just does not help. I was about 5 pounds heavier than at the second week of September (a whopping 191!) and was depressed up until this morning.
Two, change in a work out routine is good because your body gets too used to what you have been doing and it is not burning as much as you would like. My sister has recently shown me some full body work outs I think I will be incorporating into my gym visits, though after doing them with her I realize I have no strength in my core and I have reinforced the realization that I have no upper body strength. I look like a fool doing them, no doubt, but it is okay because I can only get better.
And finally, cheating on the weekend is okay but planning full out feasts is not such a good idea. Last month I splurged at the lobster festival and had funnel cake and lemonade and kettle corn. Then I splurged on sushi and ice cream and French macarons and Korean chips. And that was all in one weekend. I think if I know I will be just straight out feasting, I have to prepare in advance and work harder at the gym than I would usually. That way, I don't feel as bad.
And after all of the ups and downs of September, did I hit my goal of 5 pounds? Sadly no, with all the eating I did, but I was able to drop 3 pounds in the month of September. I started at 187 and today I am at 184. Not where I wanted to be at the beginning of the month, but not bad either. I might try to step it up this month and tack on the 2 I didn't lose to this month making it a record breaking 7 POUNDS TO LOSE for the month, but I will be truthful and tell you all that I do have a feasting weekend coming up that I am REALLY looking forward to, so we will see how this month goes. Wish me luck.
So, my ideal goal was to lose 5 pounds a month to reach my goal weight of 137 pounds by June 2012. I already know this is a high goal to set, but it is my target. It will probably have to get adjusted as I move along, but it is okay. As long as there is a decreasing weight trend, I will be happy.
My realistic goal was a loss of 2 pounds a month, which is more feasible with the amount of activity I do to the amount of food I consume.
My very low goal is just not to gain any weight from the month before, which will probably be happening more often than not. I just set this goal because If, by chance there is no change, I can say, "HEY! at least I didn't pick up any weight!" Confidence builder.
The scale plays a role in these goals, obviously. It tells you the truth at times you might not want to hear it or face up to the facts. It bears no ill will toward you, but you hate it anyway. These are times I remind myself not to shoot the messenger. I asked it, "how much do I weigh now?" and it answered.
I would be lying if I said I only weigh myself at the beginning of each month. That is so not the case. I weigh myself at least 3 times a week to see how my progress and this month was full of ups and downs, but I learned something from this past month.
One, NEVER weigh yourself during that time of the month. You are bloated and emotional and that number just does not help. I was about 5 pounds heavier than at the second week of September (a whopping 191!) and was depressed up until this morning.
Two, change in a work out routine is good because your body gets too used to what you have been doing and it is not burning as much as you would like. My sister has recently shown me some full body work outs I think I will be incorporating into my gym visits, though after doing them with her I realize I have no strength in my core and I have reinforced the realization that I have no upper body strength. I look like a fool doing them, no doubt, but it is okay because I can only get better.
And finally, cheating on the weekend is okay but planning full out feasts is not such a good idea. Last month I splurged at the lobster festival and had funnel cake and lemonade and kettle corn. Then I splurged on sushi and ice cream and French macarons and Korean chips. And that was all in one weekend. I think if I know I will be just straight out feasting, I have to prepare in advance and work harder at the gym than I would usually. That way, I don't feel as bad.
And after all of the ups and downs of September, did I hit my goal of 5 pounds? Sadly no, with all the eating I did, but I was able to drop 3 pounds in the month of September. I started at 187 and today I am at 184. Not where I wanted to be at the beginning of the month, but not bad either. I might try to step it up this month and tack on the 2 I didn't lose to this month making it a record breaking 7 POUNDS TO LOSE for the month, but I will be truthful and tell you all that I do have a feasting weekend coming up that I am REALLY looking forward to, so we will see how this month goes. Wish me luck.
Thursday, September 15, 2011
Clean Slate
Well, I am attempting to blog again, but this time around I shall be writing my attempts at weight loss. Don't get me wrong, I am very much so an anti-diet person and I love food a lot hence me attempting to do a food blog that I can never keep up with (it's because I eat too much).
For me, this decision has been a long time coming. I guess I should say a little about myself and my history. I have never been thin and skinny. Actually, I have been pretty overweight since I can remember. I think the first time I realized I was overweight was in the 7th grade and I was walking back to class and 2 of the boys in my class screamed, "ECLIPSE" as I walked passed. Not a good self esteem builder when you are already entering your awkward stages of life at 5'4" and 169 pounds. Kids are not nice but family can be even worse, especially an Asian family. I remember my grandparents always saying, "eat more! eat more!" because big babies are good, but when those big babies become overweight adults, it's not so aesthetically pleasing and then they ask, "why are you so fat?!"
By the end of freshman year high school, I hit a whopping 199 pounds and was at my maximum height of 5' 5.5" (which I round down to 5'5"). My weight stayed pretty stable, but in my freshman year of college I had kidney stones and those suckers not only hurt, but they made me lose weight (albeit, all water weight). I was at 189 and amazed that I could fit a size 12. Of course, the weight came back and probably out of depression and not caring again I hit my highest weight and my lowest point of my life. 220 pounds.
I always thought that I was just unfortunate to get all of my father's terrible genes and there was nothing to be done about it and I fell into this vicious circle just not caring about myself. "Yeah I am fat. If I can deal with it, so can you." That is what I told myself and that is how I coped with it.
I can't say I had the most fond memories growing up but I also cannot blame all of this weight gain and self loathing on mean words and comments made by other people. I had something to do with all that weight gain. All the mood eating and attempts at starvation did not help. It didn't help my weight. It' didn't help my self esteem. I was making myself more miserable.
I do believe, however, that my issues with my weight were, for a large part, due to my memories and experiences of being laughed at for being fat and had shaped me into a horribly timid, self loathing mess. I hated how I looked and I felt that people felt the same way. Why would anyone want to be with this?
After graduating college, I was 215 pounds and somehow, the weight started coming off, but probably not in the healthiest way. When I started working, I would miss out on meals a lot of the time and run around a lot with the kids, since I worked at a school. I would yo-yo from 198 to 205 pounds. Now, 4 years out of college, I had lost 15 pounds and kept it off and I was starting to feel a little better about myself.
Mid 2010, I felt was quite life changing for me. I was jogging with my friends (or at least getting some kind of movement in). I got asked out on dates, which I never thought would ever happen (granted it was from online sites and nothing became anything bigger than just being friends, but some people found me interesting). I moved. I got gym membership, or more like my older sister bought me membership. I was hesitant at first. Working out and sweating profusely around people was not my thing. I was disgusting enough, but I think it was a bit of a turning point, at least on my self image. By this time, it was November of 2010 I was 205 pounds (with shoes and after eating). I worked out on and off and I got my weight down to be a consistent 198 pounds. From my heaviest weight third year in college to that point, I lost 22 pounds, just casually adding more activity and cutting calories when I missed meals.
From September 2010 to June of 2011, nothing changed. Then one day, like magic, my entire thought process changed. What was this miracle? Well you have TLC's Freaky Eater's to thank for that. I watched the episode with the man that ate maple syrup with everything and it scared me enough to rethink what I, myself, was putting into my body. Granted, I was not an extreme case like that but I was pretty sedentary (I think I went to the gym for 30 minutes twice a week) and the fact that diabetes runs on both sides of my family hit me hard that day. It was the fear of death that spurred up my motivation to get into shape and out of this blobby mess I still was.
I started with cutting my caloric intake to 1500 calories a day from my probably over 2000 calorie daily intake. Cutting things out wasn't so hard. Then I started going to the gym at leaast 3times a day for about an hour every visit. I made sure to do cardio exercises and incorporate some weights. I started the end of June and by the end of August, I was at 187, like lightest I have been since high school.
I have recently started a food journal to try to make sure I am not over snacking and hopefully making better decisions of what I snack on. Though only 2 weeks in and still stagnant in the weight loss department, I am okay with that. The scale might not be my friend, and it tells me a number I might not be happy with, but I realize now that it is just a number. It tells me the weight of my organs, bones, muscles, clothes, shoes, and fat combined without deciphering the difference. My goal is to reduce the fat and to gain some much needed confidence I lost somewhere on the way to where I am now. It's been a constant struggle, but hopefully this blog will help me vent my frustrations along with share my successes with people who are possibly going through the same thing I am.
For me, this decision has been a long time coming. I guess I should say a little about myself and my history. I have never been thin and skinny. Actually, I have been pretty overweight since I can remember. I think the first time I realized I was overweight was in the 7th grade and I was walking back to class and 2 of the boys in my class screamed, "ECLIPSE" as I walked passed. Not a good self esteem builder when you are already entering your awkward stages of life at 5'4" and 169 pounds. Kids are not nice but family can be even worse, especially an Asian family. I remember my grandparents always saying, "eat more! eat more!" because big babies are good, but when those big babies become overweight adults, it's not so aesthetically pleasing and then they ask, "why are you so fat?!"
By the end of freshman year high school, I hit a whopping 199 pounds and was at my maximum height of 5' 5.5" (which I round down to 5'5"). My weight stayed pretty stable, but in my freshman year of college I had kidney stones and those suckers not only hurt, but they made me lose weight (albeit, all water weight). I was at 189 and amazed that I could fit a size 12. Of course, the weight came back and probably out of depression and not caring again I hit my highest weight and my lowest point of my life. 220 pounds.
I always thought that I was just unfortunate to get all of my father's terrible genes and there was nothing to be done about it and I fell into this vicious circle just not caring about myself. "Yeah I am fat. If I can deal with it, so can you." That is what I told myself and that is how I coped with it.
I can't say I had the most fond memories growing up but I also cannot blame all of this weight gain and self loathing on mean words and comments made by other people. I had something to do with all that weight gain. All the mood eating and attempts at starvation did not help. It didn't help my weight. It' didn't help my self esteem. I was making myself more miserable.
I do believe, however, that my issues with my weight were, for a large part, due to my memories and experiences of being laughed at for being fat and had shaped me into a horribly timid, self loathing mess. I hated how I looked and I felt that people felt the same way. Why would anyone want to be with this?
After graduating college, I was 215 pounds and somehow, the weight started coming off, but probably not in the healthiest way. When I started working, I would miss out on meals a lot of the time and run around a lot with the kids, since I worked at a school. I would yo-yo from 198 to 205 pounds. Now, 4 years out of college, I had lost 15 pounds and kept it off and I was starting to feel a little better about myself.
Mid 2010, I felt was quite life changing for me. I was jogging with my friends (or at least getting some kind of movement in). I got asked out on dates, which I never thought would ever happen (granted it was from online sites and nothing became anything bigger than just being friends, but some people found me interesting). I moved. I got gym membership, or more like my older sister bought me membership. I was hesitant at first. Working out and sweating profusely around people was not my thing. I was disgusting enough, but I think it was a bit of a turning point, at least on my self image. By this time, it was November of 2010 I was 205 pounds (with shoes and after eating). I worked out on and off and I got my weight down to be a consistent 198 pounds. From my heaviest weight third year in college to that point, I lost 22 pounds, just casually adding more activity and cutting calories when I missed meals.
From September 2010 to June of 2011, nothing changed. Then one day, like magic, my entire thought process changed. What was this miracle? Well you have TLC's Freaky Eater's to thank for that. I watched the episode with the man that ate maple syrup with everything and it scared me enough to rethink what I, myself, was putting into my body. Granted, I was not an extreme case like that but I was pretty sedentary (I think I went to the gym for 30 minutes twice a week) and the fact that diabetes runs on both sides of my family hit me hard that day. It was the fear of death that spurred up my motivation to get into shape and out of this blobby mess I still was.
I started with cutting my caloric intake to 1500 calories a day from my probably over 2000 calorie daily intake. Cutting things out wasn't so hard. Then I started going to the gym at leaast 3times a day for about an hour every visit. I made sure to do cardio exercises and incorporate some weights. I started the end of June and by the end of August, I was at 187, like lightest I have been since high school.
I have recently started a food journal to try to make sure I am not over snacking and hopefully making better decisions of what I snack on. Though only 2 weeks in and still stagnant in the weight loss department, I am okay with that. The scale might not be my friend, and it tells me a number I might not be happy with, but I realize now that it is just a number. It tells me the weight of my organs, bones, muscles, clothes, shoes, and fat combined without deciphering the difference. My goal is to reduce the fat and to gain some much needed confidence I lost somewhere on the way to where I am now. It's been a constant struggle, but hopefully this blog will help me vent my frustrations along with share my successes with people who are possibly going through the same thing I am.
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